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Random Rambles

First Bloom

It’s an interesting thing to have a blog.  I don’t consider myself a terribly private person, but I don’t just broadcast to the world, either.  I have a lot that I want to say, but not often outside of the context of relationship.  The parameters of context are what focus what I have to say into something meaningful in that moment.  Writing to an unknown audience, who’ll read this at an unknown time, leaves the focus only to me.  And so I often draw a blank.

But today feels like a good day to write a post.  I’ve been practicing listening to my quiet intuition lately – not the voice that authoritatively speaks in all caps – but the subtle voice, the voice that says, “Go for a walk today, you need it” or “meditate without a timer today”.  And it’s been an interesting experience.  I’m not sure exactly what I was ignoring last week, the week before, but this week, meditation has been more satisfying, less fractured, and quite interesting.  I’ve found myself doing push-ups and sleeping at odd hours with dreams as interesting as my meditation, and leaving me with the same sense of a message, or desire, or I’m not quite sure what.  I’ve been extremely productive in a job I’m ready to be finished with, without any change in motivation or energy.  And today, randomly, I was blessed with an afternoon doing the work I want to be doing all the time.

What will be the result?  Who knows?  Hindsight is 20/20 and entirely made up by our story-telling minds.  Right now, life is just a little better in the living of it, than it has been, and that’s enough. And if nurturing this quiet voice also leads to a bloom as pretty as the blooms exploding around Raleigh right now, well, that’s a bonus indeed.

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